Wyndotte Street Presents:

Jul 14

New music isn’t new. Or very good. Are we all on the path to artistic surrender? (HINT: Yes)


Dear Linkedin. Hello from Wyndotte Street. The purpose of this post is to openly wonder: When was the last time you didn’t fast forward through the musical act on Saturday Night Live? And what does that mean to us as a society? Fact is, every industry stagnates. Not just money-wise. Even yours. Music sure did. Feels like there’s something to learn here.

(But first … As you read this, you need to listen to THIS. Open it in another tab, click the video that says Cisco and let it play as you read. And you will groove. Secretly. Only in your heart. You can read slow. It’s an hour long.)

Questions: When did music fold back in on itself? And can you really blame Napster?

No offense to current popular artists. And if you are their assistant, please stop reading this to them now. Tell them about the car your parents should buy you. They completely paid for your sister at that college in France. Stupid cello. 

Chances are, if the rest of us have heard of a new singer or band, they (or someone on their professional behalf) cobbled together successful musical elements from the last hundred years and put them through a computer in a pleasing, recognizable way.

Yeah … well, you see, it starts off with the opening from the third song on the B-Side of Abba’s fifth album. A good idea, but their hook was weird. And then we have this Velvet Underground bridge everybody likes. From that commercial. The truck one. Not the one for pizza. And then this guy raps over the whole thing. Well, not this guy in this picture. A studio guy. The actual guy’s ugly like a box of ugly. So talented, though. No need to tell anybody about that. The beat? Dude. Straight John Sousa. Yeah. That one. We’ll be on SNL in June.

So, even creatively hopeful bands just starting out are naturally going to gravitate this way. If for no other reason than the prospect of never having an actual job. Never lose that dream, by the way. Because … and, there it … it’s gone.

Not to say this isn’t how art with a capital ‘A’ is supposed to work. It’s all craft and learning what other people did already, until somebody moves the ball forward in their own small, special way. And then more importantly, someone credible remembers it. Then it’s art (with the ‘A’). There once was also a big clear line marked “Derivative.” But our cultural memory is only fifteen minutes long, so we forgot where we put that. So now it’s all art (small a). Or at least that’s what Kanye said.

Perception is reality. Take Kiss’ first live album, Alive! Monster album. Not live. Parts, recorded live, absolutely. But overdubs aren’t live. Certainly not live enough to earn an exclamation point in any kind of real army. None of this is news. Hey. You try to spit real fire AND nail the bass line on Strutter (track #2). Not going to happen, so go sit back down.

Now more than ever, if it can’t sell a phone during football over the holidays, have fun humming it to yourself. Because the song train stops there.

There used to be this thing where, if the jingle is stuck in your head, but you can’t remember what it’s selling, the ad isn’t very good, is it? That’s not a thing anymore. Last year somebody was selling some kind of little glowing red brick on TV. With no hint of what it actually was. A fun little bluetooth speaker, as it turns out. Got one as a gift. Really kind of neat. Didn’t even know I wanted one. But I now use it all the time. They should have mentioned some of this in their television commercial. Fun fact: item does not actually glow.

Ok, look, the reality is there’s somebody in a garage right now working on something new and great and we’ll all be just fine. Here’s the problem. They’re too late. We already listen like a bunch of hopeless jerks. It’s our fault as a species that, over time, our expectations will lower to any bar.

Which leads us to what you’ve been listening to this whole time. And why. For everybody who just now thought, alright, fine, I’ll click on it, go ahead. We’ll wait. Because it’s words and stuff and we can’t start again without you. Ok.

You may have already heard about this whole thing on NPR. If so, fantastic. Please feel free to spend the rest of the day out in the field behind the building, chasing butterflies. 

But for those of us who never heard of Tim Carleton and Darrick Deel, we just did. And because you missed it, you should probably read THIS

"It’s funny to even write this sentence, but the "hold music" that pulses through phones throughout Cisco Systems is catching on with techies and music fans alike. And there’s a cool story behind it."
- Scott Budman, NBC News.

Here’s the bottom line, which pertains to you: We all need to be entertained. Like shelter and water. And they know that. They don’t need to change, whoever they are, just adjust profit margins and find another way to game the system. Economies of scale always wins, especially in lean times. Not every industry has that privilege. Does yours?

Yes, still talking about you. When your customers, the ones you know are getting bored with what you’re used to feeding them, even in the new designer colors, finally move on … you’re going to learn a different song. Probably time to get ready for that.

Meanwhile, on Wyndotte Street, please enjoy as Brynna Campbell and Ned Hosford illustrate the certain future for aspiring musicians as we know them in:

I’m@Work - Please Hold
"I think you’re going to fit in nicely around here."

And if you want to meet two people working every day to make real music not suck, click HERE and HERE. You’ll be glad you did.

Follow us at the Wyndotte Street Company Page.

There’s more at www.yndotStreet.com. Series, sketch, music and more.




Jul 12

What’s a Wyndotte?

What’s a Wyndotte?

Good question. We have an answer for that and this seemed like as good a time as any to explain ourselves. 

Short answer: It’s a chicken. Specifically a pageant bird. Your Hunny-Boo-Boo of chickens.



It’s also the street Christian Monzon grew up on out in the valley. Except that’s spelled with another ‘a’ (like the actual bird). But he always thought the extra ‘a’ was silly. So when he decided to start a little production company, a name was born. 

Why did we go with yndot for the site name? Good question. No good answer there, except, what’s a google? Exactly!

Welcome to Wyndotte Street. The show chicken of original videos sites.

We’re going to be rolling out a lot of links over the next couple months from the new Wyndotte Street show pages. There will be sketch, standup, improv, series and more. Please enjoy.

www.yndotStreet.com

Jul 08

A Poor Artist Blames The Tools They Work With


Dear Internets. Hello from Wyndotte Street. The purpose of this post is to ask fellow readers, have you ever considered blaming yourself?* 

Specifically, this is about the innate, natural tendency we all share to blame the idiots around us for, you know, whatever you got. The following is a story told by author Douglas Adams. He said it happened to him. Problem is, it’s also a story other people told long before that. Kind of a standing folk legend. So did it happen? 

Yes. Without question. Because it happened To Arthur Dent in the fourth book of the Hitchhiker’s trilogy, and we’ve all been living in that universe since October, 1979. 

Besides. A good allegory is a good allegory. And at some point, this is every single one of us:

‘Cookies’ by Douglas Adams
"This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I’d gotten the time of the train wrong. I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.

I want you to picture the scene. It’s very important that you get this very clear in your mind. Here’s the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There’s a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase. It didn’t look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.

Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There’s nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.

You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know… But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn’t do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?

In the end I thought, Nothing for it, I’ll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, That settled him. But it hadn’t because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie. Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. ‘Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice …’ I mean, it doesn’t really work. 

We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away. Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back.

A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.

The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who’s had the same exact story, only he doesn’t have the punch line.”

-Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
“Cookies”

That’s an excerpt from this site (http://thejumbuckisalmostextinct.com/2009/12/cookies-by-douglas-adams/).

And this is how it is in the book http://www.tudy.ro/2007/07/14/the-story-about-the-biscuits. Remember Fenchurch? Yeah. You remember Fenchurch.

Meanwhile, on Wyndotte Street, Barnaby Gallagher, Christopher Gardner, Ashley Harris, Alessandro Mastrobuono, Christian Monzon, Brigett Fink and B. Owen Robinson helpfully illustrate how when the problem is you, the answer is closer than you think.

I’m@Work - Efficiency Expert
"Worth every penny."

Follow us at the Wyndotte Street Company Page.

There’s more at www.yndotStreet.com. Sketch, series, music and more.

(This is the next in a series.)




* But, please, not in that dumb, dark inner voice sort of way. That’s doing fine on it’s own. So if you go out to your car right now, lock yourself in the trunk and cut yourself just to feel alive, we do NOT take responsibility. For this conversion, let’s only refer to real life, where you have to actually do things.

Jul 04

Terrifying proof that James Cameron may be right. (HINT: Arbitrage!)

Dear Internets. Hello from Wyndotte Street. The reason for this post is to sound an alarm. We appear to be nearing a genuine online tipping point in terms of what James Cameron once called, “Stating the obvious with a complete sense of discovery.”



He evidently said this in a group of people. Whether or not he borrowed it from somebody, then confidently announced it as if he just thought of it himself, is impossible to say. Sure, odds are, yes, probably. He does actively travel ten minutes in the future. But who really knows?

The real question is clear: will online traffic arbitrage eventually drown us in our own minutia?

Online traffic arbitrage? That’s right. It’s easy and fun. Put any bit of content on a page, like throwing taffy at a hot sidewalk. Draw traffic through a bunch of voodoo-based internet-type things. And when people click on your ads (or sponsored content), you win! A tiny, little, bit. Over an infinite amount of time. You just have to spend less on getting the traffic than the traffic pays you. Arbitrage!

Some office guy spots a tiny thumbnail of blurry, famous, side-boob at the bottom of LegitimateNewSite.com? Well … he can file those bank forms any time. They have virus protection at that place, right? And … that’s a couple of nice, fat, fractions-of-pennies to somebody for the effort. Arbitrage!

Why will there eventually be such a thing as “Ten Worst 1980’s Hairstyles Of Your Favorite Topless Boy Band Singers Before They Were U.S. Presidents?” Lots of reasons. Also: Arbitrage!

And thank goodness because this all has to pay for itself somehow.

The down side? Terrifying proof that a process is now in motion which will reduce us all to meat lumps that need to google how to put our pants on every morning?

Please enjoy this actual, step-by-step, pictorial guide to answering a wrong number on a telephone.

(SPOILER ALERT: It all takes a wild turn at point #2: “Figure out the situation. If the person says something to the effect of, ‘I’m calling to speak to Bob,” and no such person is there, say, ‘I’m sorry, there’s no Bob at this residence. Are you sure this is the right number?’”

My mother was very wise on this subject as well. I’ll never forget the day she said to me, “Just hang up.”

Because here’s the important part: It does not matter one little bit what the content is. If you are somebody who can figure out how to make a web site where people go to see themselves gaze quietly back at themselves in more of an approving way than they can muster on their own, have fun with that billion dollar idea.

So now what? Somebody with a clever infographic about international toilet procedures just became the twenty-fifth richest person in the world. That’s what.

But to get serious for a moment. We’ve had our fun. This is all alarming for another reason. Primarily because, in every single movie made during the 1980’s, even Terms Of Endearment, an alien started up a computer and by the next morning learned how to conquer our entire culture. And yet here we are, in real life, practically rolling out the red carpet. Ask not for whom the misdialed number rings …

Meanwhile, on Wyndotte Street, Ben Begley expertly navigates an old joke-turned-sketch illustrating the practical dangers of the not so terribly pertinent issue of misdialed phone numbers.

I’m@Work - Call Home
"Ok. Now I want you to take their bodies and throw them in the swimming pool."



We’ll be posting more there in the next couple weeks …

And don’t forget to check out our excellent Sponsored Content from around the Web!

 

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com/hostgator/” id=”gI054”>Click here</a>

Nov 06

Watch Wally Here!Watch Wally Here!
On your way to the polls, please share Wally with a friend.
(http://www.youtube.c…View Postshared via WordPress.com

Watch Wally Here!

Watch Wally Here!

On your way to the polls, please share Wally with a friend.

(http://www.youtube.c

View Post

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Aug 31

Vote Wally Panther! Rules For Business Are Wrong. And There’s No Such Thing As Gay! (satire) -

Wallace Panther is ready to earn your vote!

Here’s a complete rundown of Wally’s key CORE VALUES -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwwXVhSejNA
- America Knows Best
- Don’t Trust Newspapers
- Helping People Isn’t Right
- Governement IS The Problem

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER: Rules For Business Are Wrong. And There’s No Such Thing As Gay.

What are your values?
Join the conversation at: http://www.facebook.com/VoteWallyPanther.
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/#!/VoteWallyP.
There’s more at: www.yndotStreet.com.

Vote Wally Panther! Rules For Business Are Wrong. And There’s No Such Thing As Gay! (satire)

http://www.onlywire.com/r/100315880

Aug 30

Vote Wally Panther! Rules For Business Are Wrong. And There's No Such Thing As Gay! (satire) -

A rundown of Wally’s key CORE VALUES - INCLUDING, Never Before Seen: Rules For Business Are Wrong. And There’s No Such Thing As Gay. (Satire)

Vote Wally Panther! Rules For Business Are Wrong. And There’s No Such Thing As Gay! (satire)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwwXVhSejNA&w=640&h=390]

Wallace Panther is ready to earn your vote!

Here’s a complete rundown of Wally’s key CORE VALUES -

- America Knows Best
- Don’t Trust Newspapers
- Helping People Isn’t Right
- Governement IS…

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Jul 23

Unlisted Youtube Preview Link (Comedy/Satire) - Vote Wally Panther! (Ep. 4) - “Government IS The Problem!”

Wally Panther is a new political comedy series from www.yndotStreet.com. Join Wally in discussing the core values that make our the best one ever. Featuring Ben Begley.

Click Here To Watch Unlisted Youtube Link (Limited Time Only): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H07rQU-bf1Y&feature=share&list=PL76236E0BB8B669FD.

FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/VoteWallyPanther.

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/#!/VoteWallyP.

There’s more at: www.yndotStreet.com.

Unlisted Youtube Preview Link (Comedy/Satire) - Vote Wally Panther! (Ep. 4) - “Government IS The Problem!” (limited time only)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=videoseries&w=640&h=390]

Wally Panther is a new political comedy series from www.yndotStreet.com. Join Wally in discussing the core values that make our the best one ever. Featuring Ben Begley.

Click Here To Watch…

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Jul 18

(New Political Comedy) Wally Panther #3 - Helping People Isn’t Right!

Vote Wally Panther is a new comedy series from www.yndotStreet.com. Tired of candidates who don’t know what they stand for? Isn’t there anybody out there who always says what they think in a decidedly no-nonsense way, which shows they are both a real leader and also, just maybe, a genuine life-long friend? Good news! There is! That’s Wally!

Direct Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vTe—warT0&feature=share&list=PL7CBAEAA813954503.

MY CORE VALUES #3: Helping People Isn’t Right!

"Folks, let’s be honest. Helping people just isn’t right. In fact it’s the worst thing you can do for them. Helping people goes against everything that freedom and capitalism stand for. People like my great, great grandfather. He worked his whole life to become wealthy. He would sell over-ripe fruit back to poor, hungry farmers and turn a tidy profit. That man was a free-market genius. Back then you could make a dollar that way. But not now. No. Because you have to give half your money to who? The poor people. My grandmother used to have a word for them. She had a term. She’d call them the do nothings. That’s right. She’d say, you know, put them in prison for a week, that’ll teach those beggars to act straight. Poor people are just the worst. I mean, cut it out already. You see them with their new cell phones and their new tennis shoes and their fancy clothes. If you’re going to be poor, you might as well act like it. OK? For goodness sake." 

   - Wallace Panther

What are your values? 

Join the conversation at: http://www.facebook.com/VoteWallyPanther.

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/#!/VoteWallyP.

There’s more at: www.yndotStreet.com.

Filmed by Peter Castagnetti: http://worklikehell.com/home.html.

Jul 11

MY CORE VALUES #2: Don't Trust Newspapers (pass it on!) -

My name is Wallace Panther and I want your vote! Join me in discussing the CORE VALUES which make our nation great. We’re counting on you to spread the word. Please share this important information with a friend!

MY CORE VALUES #2: Don’t Trust Newspapers (pass it on!)

Direct Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuOFfDHyjW8&feature=share&list=PL7CBAEAA813954503.

"I don’t trust newspapers. I don’t trust news on television. Or generally what people tell me in person. The only thing I trust is radio. And not FM, that’s for sure. No, only AM stations that specifically tell me on their billboards they’re going to tell me the truth."
- Wallace Panther, Core Value #2.

What are your values?
Join the conversation at: http://www.facebook.com/VoteWallyPanther.
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/#!/VoteWallyP.
There’s more at: www.yndotStreet.com.

MY CORE VALUES #2: Don’t Trust Newspapers (pass it on!)

[video]